I remember back in college we were told to stay away from the "townies" as they couldn't be trusted. We blindly accepted rides and drinks from our fellow "Falcons", but stayed away and were on guard when around the locals we would meet around town and at the local restaurants and bars.
Of course you have to be careful around strangers, we've all learned about stranger danger, but that can be a misleading notion when it comes to self defense. Yes we have to be careful around people we don't know, but the sad truth is that we have to be even more careful around friends of friends, acquaintences and some family members.
According to research, victims of sexual assault know their attacker in approximately eight out of 10 cases. The rates are even hight when the victim is a child - a whopping 90 percent of victims know their attacker. Sadly, close to half of all the abusers of children are family members. This isn't to say you can't trust your good friends and close family members. What it is saying is that if you have a bad feeling about a relative, or don't trust a friend of a friend, or a casual acquaintence, then stay on guard when with them. Do not go anywhere with them, do not go in a room alone with them, do not get in a car with them, and watch how they treat and act with others.
Never be afraid to trust your instincts, to say "back off", to say "I'm just not comfortable with going with you", to say "I prefer to be in group settings", or to say "Sorry, but I do not want to be alone with you". Once in an uncomfortable situation, always be ready to stand up for yourself, clearly communicate you want that person to leave you alone, and to defend yourself physically to whatever extent necessarily to stop that person from harming you.
Submitted by GrandMaster Janice Wood of JP Wood Martial Arts . GM Jan Wood holds a 7th degree black belt in Taekwondo, 4th degree black belt in Koryo Gumdo and 2nd degree black belt in Hapkido. She has a degree in Criminal Justice (law enforcement), and she and her husband own and operate JP Wood Martial Arts in Palatine, Illinois. She can be reached at jpwoodsmaa@msn.com.